I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
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