Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
