You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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