Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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