Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
