I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
