You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
