soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
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I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
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We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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