I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
just tell him i said nine months
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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