He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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