Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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