should my penis look like a turkey
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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