Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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