Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
