Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
