i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
