I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
