Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
