I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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