so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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