every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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