i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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