i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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