i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
