Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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