i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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