Im at strip club and am horny
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
barbara walters just said penis...
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
