I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
