I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
