I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
