how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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