The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
