this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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