Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
There are leaves in my underwear?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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