yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
