I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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