Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Oh god it's open bar.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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