so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We left an ass print on the piano.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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