:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
