all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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