I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
