I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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