Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
