ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
