i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
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I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
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She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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