That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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