I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize