Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
