Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
