okay pat passed out under dana's car
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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