Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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