She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
