the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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