I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
