I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
