He is an equal opportunity slut.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
