so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
