You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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