Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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