apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
