Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
