this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
