I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
