you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
