Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
