I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
